The all new third generation four-door Bentley Continental Fly Spur is due to be revealed very shortly. Bentley is promising boundless performance and more luxury than an out of touch Instagram Oligarch can afford.
We don’t know much more than that which means I am forced to use my non-existent journalism skills to fill the word count of this particular post.
So... here goes... AHEM!
The all new Bentley Continental Flying Spur will have four doors.
It will also have... FOUR WHEELS!
There will be door handles on the doors and rubber tyres covering the alloy wheels.
It will also cost a substantial amount of money, which is about something 'amount'.
Many cows will be bred and slaughtered for their hides.
The dead animal skin will be refined and used to trim the interior.
The interior will be made of... leather.
(it's really hard work being a journalist without an extensive corporate press release to use as a guide, therefore I hate Bentley)
The point I am trying to make is we don't know much about the new Bentley Continental Flying Spur.
We do know the old model retailed from £132,000 Brexit pounds. And the new Flying Spur will follow an evolutionary path in terms of design and technology.
And if you ddn’t know, the Continental Flying Spur is basically an Audi A8 and VW Phaeton underneath all that luxury dead animal skin and luxury dead wood.
God damn it I'm a genius.